Well here we are my faithful horde of cocking colleagues in 2009 and after a long winter cocking holiday, I have finally caved in to a concerted campaign of fishwife like nagging from JungleJinge our first lady of cock and dedicated Lady Lieutenant and agreed to catch up with an almost insurmountable backlog of cock - nearly 200 childish and rather daft things that you have all contributed to since I could last be bothered back in September last year.
Particular highlights to look forward to might be Cock of the Month awards for both November and December, as well as the first ever cock of the year awarded by concensus during the first ever cock convention held a few months back, attended by a number of northern cockers in a pub.
Talking of the cocking convention, I have got some rough notes somewhere that I promised to turn into proper minutes; after all, despite the general amateurish approach adopted throughout by cockers, the least I can do is to try and raise standards a little in order to make a true and accurate record of our exploits during our convention........
We also had some new cock categories suggested, including 'cock grafitti' which has great promise as there appear to be a good number of improbably proportioned phalluses daubed on the nations' walls and toilet doors; 'cock births, marriages and deaths' which is too controversial and potentially offensive for the newly bereaved for my liking and 'counterfeit cock' where the more experienced and daring colleagues can seek out and doctor things that aren't really called cock, but are hugely more amusing for having been made to appear to do so.
Anyhow, lots to do and hundreds of cocks to deal with, so cheerio for now and remember, irrespective of whether I can be bothered or not, always KEEP COCKING!!
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